A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
i was at mcdonalds and this kid dropped his chocolate milk, began to cry, and his dad got up, said “this some instagram shit” and starte taking pictures and i cant breath
i was just out taking a walk and some woman slowly stopped her car next to me and she was all like “excuse me” and i was freakin out like oh my god she’s going to kill me or ask for directions or something, my life is over, and she was like “take this” and she handed me a 10 dollar bill and she was like “get yourself a haircut so you can get a job you fucking hippie” i’m laaughing so hard i am a 16 year old girl this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
google street view is the best, example:
I have a boyfriend.
(Source: whiteboywaves)
(Source: bitch-i-might-be-hannibal)
haha loser look at you sitting all by yourself at lunch
but mom Im homeschooled
